Once upon a time of starting over

'Tis the season for new beginnings.  A lot of people get goal oriented at the New Year, but for me, it has always been spring-time.  It's the start of my own personal new year, and a time for revitalizing life as plants start sprouting, and the snow melts, and the warmth returns.

So I am starting over, again - renewing a commitment to myself to seek out a relationship that is good for me, and healthy, and supportive.   I don't want to settle for emotionally available but physically distant,  or physically available but emotionally distant.  I don't need or want that anymore.  I don't want artificial walls, or barriers imposed by distance.

I have told Deity I need to step back from exclusive, because he is too busy to have time based on life events in his family.  I sent a note to Dancer letting him know that I can't fuck him because I need more than that in a relationship these days.   Not that it was a relationship -it was more than friends, but less than love.  Affectionate sex?   Something like that.  But if I do want a cup full of happiness,  I need to stop filling it with half-measures.