Afterthoughts

After last weeks fracas,  Dancer had a teaching workshop out of town.  Before he left, I confirmed plans for dinner on Tuesday at 7. (Uh, that would be tomorrow as I type this.)   And in the meantime, a friend of his from Seattle posted to his facebook, asking if he would listen to a story between 7:30/8 pm tomorrow (Uh, yeah, Tuesday)   Dancer said yes.  What the fuck! 

Regardless, said post resulted in this email being sent:

<Dancer> see attached.   Enjoy your friend's story.   When you have some sense that perhaps a 7:30/8 pm phone call might conflict with dinner with another friend - consider apologizing.  I'm done being an afterthought.  I don't mean for this to be overly dramatic, but I really don't need a one-way friendship.

The attachment was a screen grab of the post.  I really don't need him and his thoughtless behavior.  That is not how a friend behaves, regardless of sex being involved or not. At this point, I think I don't care what his response is.  No - that's not quite true.  I care to the point of getting an apology.  I'll give him a week.  No reply = unfriend and thanks for the memories.

Awkwardness

So... Mathematica and Dancer did hook up. 

The story from both sides:   She fell for him.  It wasn't reciprocated.  She is hurt.  He is baffled.

She has no (and never will have) idea that Dancer and I are friends with benefits.  Girl code indicates that she made a claim to him. I remained silent.  I continue to do so.  He and I are friends.

All the same - it's decidedly awkward to recieve a note that both confirms and relieves the same worry.... "Did they have sex? And what does this mean for me?"  

Yes.  They did have sex.  What it means for me is that she is hurt, and opting to not interact with him.

To analyze both of them (because I'm getting bored with my own bellybutton):

Mathematica deeply longs for a relationship, and for someone, anyone, to show an interest in her.  So she pursues,  elaborates, and never lets a guy have a chance to show his own interest.   She says she knows how to be happy alone,  but she doesn't. 

Dancer wants to not be hurt, or confined by a relationship.  He very much controls his words and actions to not mislead anyone he might become physically involved with.  It will be friends with benefits, or it will not be.  That's how he works, and protects himself.  He is honest about it, I can't fault him for that.  I can fault him for not recognizing infatuation in the form of bacon roses.

So there we are.  Mathematica has subtracted herself from the picture, being too hurt to interact.  IMO, that's a mistake.  She is so uncertain of herself.   I can see a part of me in her though, and so I have sympathy more than pity.   

Where do things go next with Dancer?  To dinner.  To movies.  To bed.  After talking with him, I don't see a reason to change how things are at present.  He will be a pleasant diversion when I can't be with Deity.   And when I can be with Deity all the time... Dancer will gracefully retreat back to friend, as opposed to "Friend"

It will suffice.

Connecting Dots

Dot Number 1: Dancer
Dot Number 2: Mathematica (female acquaintance of mine, and a friend of Dancer from Gk2Gk)
Dot Number 3: Bacon Roses & Bourbon brownies
Dot Number 4: Mathematica's "tired but contented" smile post/comments

Known facts:
Mathematica has a crush on Dancer.
Dancer is not likely to turn down sex.

Assumption:  They fucked.

What does that mean for me?  
Well... I either need to ask the direct question of Dancer, or simply be done.   Mathematica has no way of knowing that I was physically involved with Dancer.  It's not something that I'd make public nor stake a claim of ownership.

I'm leaning toward simply being done.  I don't need or want the drama.  I am not a harem girl.  I am worth the time and attention required to have a relationship beyond fuck buddy.  Annnnnnd.... I already have that, with Deity.  So it's time to be done with Dancer.

My pride says this is not something I will address until he asks to see me.  Given the track record of I make the advances... it could be awhile.  Dancer is used to things being easy.  I am over making it easy for him.