Things have not slowed down, and I am learning that if I wait any longer, there will be even more to write than I can keep up with.
So - that WHOA weekend...
Saturday was as planned, only full of fun things. A textile garage sale, working on a baby quilt, taking a nap, getting dressed up for a delicious dinner with a girlfriend, and then plans to go dancing.
During the dessert course of the meal, I got a text from College asking if I wanted to come over for a game of scrabble after his kids were sleeping. I said yes, finished the meal, went dancing for an hour, and was glad I'd decided to put on the fun stockings and garter belt set.
College lives not far from my house, and getting to his house was easy. We did get the scrabble board out, and played, and while I waited for him to play, I would tease him by running my stockinged foot up and down his leg, inside his thigh. We didn't finish the game. My skirt went up, he ate me out, his pants came off, and we fucked on his living room floor. He is a very uninhibited lover, and so very much fun to play with. We gave up on playing Scrabble after that, and just went upstairs to his bed to sleep for awhile. I woke up again several hours later when it started raining, we played with each other again talked for an hour about life, and sex, and families, and divorces, and I left a little after 4 when we heard his daughter talking in her sleep. As far as Saturdays go, this one was nearly perfect.
I went home and slept for not enough hours. My kids were due to arrive, I had to do my grocery shopping in advance, Deity was coming over to visit because his oldest daughter was going to be visiting friends in the area and he wanted to see me - being more than a little freaked out about my multiple dates with College. He arrived before my kids did, and I brought him upstairs to be naked together while there was still time. (I give up thinking I'm slutty for liking the sex I have with different men.) We talked about things between us. He apologized for hurting me by stepping back from being exclusive, and asked if we could resume that. He asked if I'd had sex with College yet. I lied, and said no. I do regret that lie, but not enough to take it back, because it is different with College than it is with Dancer.
The net effect of the WHOA weekend is that I have no freaking idea what I want. I can't be exclusive with Deity again yet, because my heart is torn. I can't just change my mind from the mode of "Can't Depend on, Can't Plan for, Can't expect from" with Deity back to "Life together." And there are interesting possibilities with College. Time will tell what the right path is. But holy hell - I just didn't even know what to do with myself by Monday morning. So of course, on Tuesday, I sent an email to Dancer to see if he'd be an available distraction, and he came over that night after my kids were sleeping, and I got to enjoy sex with no strings and no expectations. As I type this a week later, it's entirely possible that was the last time I will have sex with Dancer.
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